Connected to disconnect

“The truth is, it is easier to hide behind a computer than to engage people. Shouldn’t it really be called unsocial media?”
(thebiblestudy.wordpress.com)

I am a loner,  I am the kind of person who can get along fine with others and is fine being alone with myself. If you would read my previous blogs, you would notice that I’ve mentioned more than once that there were days I wanted to spend time with everyone and days I really wanted to be just by myself. You could say that I am an anti-social at times. I don’t talk too much, atleast not around the people I’m not comfortable with. (And there’s not too many people I am comfortable to begin with.) I’m the type of person who’d rather write down my thoughts than to say it out loud. But when I talk, I don’t sugar-coat things; my belief in ‘it is better to get hurt with the truth than be happy with a lie’ is very firm that people would often misunderstand me as cold-hearted numb, which I’d like to believe I am not.

Though I have my social media accounts such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, there are these random moments when I feel like I want to shutdown permanently my accounts, mainly because it has gotten a bit boring since rarely are the times I’ve got to interact with my friends through social media, well, its not like I have that much friends in the first place. But since I get to spend a lot of time with my circle in person, there’s no need for us to keep in touch through social media too. Please don’t get me wrong, I can get along fine with almost everyone but it’s not like you can consider someone your friend already with just a nice conversation.

The only thing that holds me back from deactivating my accounts is that it is only through the social media I get a chance to keep in touch with the people whom I have been friends since high school and drifted away since we entered college. Somehow, to my dismay, seldom are the times we really tried to keep in touch with each other. At most, we could only feel each other’s presence through likes and sometimes, comments on posts. Then there’s also these people I consider my friends whom I got close through FB and Twitter, but we rarely talk in person. Probably because there’s not much to talk about, and it gets really awkward and silent whenever we try to start a nice chitchat in person. Somehow, finding the next words to say just to keep the conversation going has always been my problem with my cyber friends when we talk in person. I mean, yes, we can chat for hours in facebook about anything and everything, but physically chatting is another story.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that social media has turned into a meet-and-greet everyone in the internet without trying to be real friends in the real world. Somehow it is sad that relationships built through social medias tend to end as we disconnect from the internet, and somehow we disconnect from the world while where at the internet.

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This is how I ended up joining the NaNoBloPoMo

Hi there! 🙋
Last night, I was browsing through my reader when I came across a post about NaNoBloPoMo. It was actually the first time I’ve heard of it since I am new to blogging, so I got curious.

I learned that NaNoBloPoMo is a blog writing contest where all you need to do is simply post a blog everyday throughout November. Then I thought it would be great if I get to be part of this something. I mean, this would be a nice chance to challenge myself into accomplishing doing something I really love. The thing is, as far as I know myself, I am only good at the beginning. Seems like I can only manage to start things and lose my will somewhere in the middle of everything.

Since I wanted to do something that will help me become the better person, I signed myself up for November’s NaBloPoMo. I really hope that I can do this thing until the end, so yeaaah, wish me luck! ☺

It’s not about me.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.”
-Proverbs 3:5

When I was in high school, I attended a Catholic school. Back then, whenever we conduct leadership trainings the speaker would often tell us that in everything we do, we should acknowledge that it is about God. That’s when we were taught the phrase:

“It’s not about me, it’s all about GOD.”

I think this thing is always forgotten. Seldom are the times we give back to God what he has given us, remembering Him only when we are in need, and leaving him behind when we think we have everything.

For once, let us praise and give Him thanks without asking for anything.

Things have its own way of getting better, you don’t need to rush, just trust :)

I was re-reading my previous blogs earlier when it came to my attention how my blogs went from very happy and contented to melancholic and a bit lost, then I thought to myself ‘Oh, I think I’m forgetting something here, something’s not right.’

For a couple of weeks now, I’ve been in a constant moodswing. Okay, what I just said is ironic. But yeah, lately my mood goes like very happy to very depressed. I feel really disgusted with myself when I’m like that.

It’s like one moment I’m having a great time with everyone and a moment later I’m trying to find a escape route to find some time alone.

My friends once told me that they really hate it when I’m being down because my mood is contangious. (plus I belong to a group of friends who know nothing about giving comfort and consolation)

Reflecting on the things that happened lately, these things came to my mind:

1.) More often than not, people seem to forget the things that really matter once faced with difficulties. Our vision is blocked by the hardships causing us to see only the negativities around us, all the good things fading out in the background.

2.) We can never always have our way with how things goes. Some times, most of the times, things get out of hand, it won’t always go the way we want them to be, just like we can’t always have what we want.

But even if things happen not according to plan, just always remember this third reflection:

God’s plan is always better than our plan.

Maybe we don’t understand why and how things ended the way it is right now, or probably, we won’t ever know the reasons but there will always be a good reason behind it, all we need is to trust in Him with all our heart and let Him do things according to his will. Just know, we are being blessed each moment of our life. It just takes appreciation and gratitude in order to feel it. Blessed evening everyone 🙂

Sunday Currently, Vol.1

Hi there, I was thinking of what I should write for today’s blog and as I was scrolling through some random blog, I saw a Sunday Currently, Maine Mendoza inspired blog, and I was like, okay I’m gonna do that too. So here’s my Sunday Currently, credits to Maine Mendoza. I love you Yaya Dub 😁

CURRENTLY

Reading
“My Youth Romantic Comedy is Wrong as I Expected – Volume 3”, it is a Japanese manga recommended by brother and I like it, probably because I can relate so much to the protagonist here which happened to be a loner.

Listening
to the TV show “Vampire ang daddy ko” playing on the background.

Wearing
Yellow ruffled shirt paired with a black skater’s skirt I wore from the mass earlier

Smelling
the chicken adobo which my father is cooking

Tasting
the sugar coating of the banana cue I just ate after the mass. Yumm

Writing
this blog (Sunday Currently, Vol. 1) yes, I intend to do this continously 😁

Hoping
I can really do this continously and that I will pass tomorrow’s exam

Wanting
Chocolates and 8 hours of sleep, felt like I haven’t slept since I don’t know when.

Needing
to review my notes but too lazy to start and to finish my clearance tomorrow

Praying
that things will finally get better.

Wishing
to wind up at EK after exams tomorrow, that is if it ends early.

Thinking
about yesterday’s episode of Kalyeserye (Tamang Panahon) and Alden Richard’s reaction ealier when Maine Mendoza called at Sunday Pinasaya

Wondering
What will happen for tomorrow’s episode of Kalyeserye.

Feeling
Nothing as of the moment. That is I am neither happy nor sad, well that is my usual mood, so yeah.

THOUGHTS FOR TODAY

In every circumstances, we will get different reactions from the people around us; some people will support our decisions and will motivate us along the way while others will do everything to discourage us. Or maybe the don’t intend to discourage us but what they do makes us feel discouraged. In times like that, be strong for yourself, because at the end of the day, you’ve got no one else but you. The best way to do is keep on going, show them that you can. Just think, the best feeling in this world is being able to do what others said you can’t do.

So there, I just finished my Sunday Currently. Have a nice week ahead everyone. 😁

Disconnection

Has there been a time in your life when you’ve been surrounded by people who mean so much to you yet you feel really distant and alone? Like no matter how much you try, something within you makes you feel so disconnected?

I don’t know of it’s just me, but lately I’ve been feeling that way. I feel so distant from everyone else that I’d rather be alone with myself than be surrounded by them. I don’t know… it’s just that sometimes it feels like neither my presence nor absence would matter, and that makes me want to just disconnect from everyone else. It is sad though.. I feel like I’m no longer wanted nor needed, it makes me want to be gone, for good. I don’t know.