To the guy who stole my heart

It’s been a while since that day..
It’s been a while since the last time I talked about you, it’s been a while since I’ve heard from you.

It has been more than two years and I’m still here writing this post about you. I actually miss you right now – your face; your smile; the way you look at me like I’m the only thing that mattered; all those ‘i love you’s like you actually mean them,  your randomness and all your corny jokes and the way you laugh; the way you say your ‘sorry’s like you never want to lose me in your life.. everything. I miss everything about you… about us.

It’s been so long but it still feels like just yesterday when everything started and suddenly ended.

I know I should have let go of what I feel for you a long time ago, but there’s still this part of me that makes me want to hold to the memories. I don’t want to forget all those hurt I felt when suddenly you’re gone as much as I wanted to keep all the beautiful memories you’ve left me. I just need something to remind me that you existed, that for once we were real. And I am sorry if it is hard for me to just let go and move on the same way you did so easily. ‘Cause you’ve left me hanging with all the confusion and pain and questions that keep on bothering me every now and then. I just wish you gave back heart before you exited my life, I just wish we didn’t ended that way, that you didn’t gave up easily.

But you did. You’re gone now, and I know you’re not coming back – ever. And all that’s left for me now is to just let go and move on.. That would be easy if I wanted to, but the thing is I don’t. And that’s the worst part of it.

Happiness is when you stop searching for it.

If there’s one thing that I realized today, that is if you want to be truly happy, make somebody else happy instead and your happiness will follow.

For so long, I’ve been in a constant journey of finding my happiness. What makes it harder is that I do not know what would make me happy. Every now and then, I smile and laugh with my friends when we hang out together but I feel like something is missing in my life. Deep down, I know I am not as happy as I look like. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to find genuine happiness.

Little did I know that happiness is not so hard to find. It is just there, it is every where around me. I don’t even have to search for it. All I need to do is go look beyond the imperfections and instead of looking for the things that is missing, appreciate all that is right there in front of me, just patiently waiting for attention and recognition.

I realized most people are unhappy because we tend to focus on the things that is missing instead of taking time to appreciate what we have. Discontentment. That is why we feel incomplete, we only see what’s not there. But if we will look into the bigger picture, we will be overwhelmed by the fact that there is so much more to be thankful for, there are so many reasons to be happy. The thing is we try to find happiness in the wrong places. Sometimes the things we thought that would make us happy would only cause us pain, or what we thought we wanted is not what we really want.

Happiness is a choice, I’m sure you’ve heard it so many times before. Choose to be happy. Be thankful for all the little things. Learn to appreciate. Try not to focus on your own happiness, try to make someone smile today, touch hearts and you’ll feel the happiness you are searching for. Try.

Me? I’ve stopped looking for happiness, because finally, I’ve found it. I found it in the precious times I get to spend with my family, I found with a pen and a piece of paper, I found it in the eyes of my friends sparkling with happiness, I found it in their smiles and laughter when we get to spend time with each other, I found it in sunrise and a hot coffee,

I found it just when I decided to stop looking for it. And I thank GOD for giving me this kind of happiness.

🙂 Goodmorning.

A love story is yet to unfold, and I’d be the happiest if it does 😁

‘One day, somebody will come and make you realize why it didn’t worked out with anybody else.’

Looking back, at first it was just me and my girl bestfriend. We first met four years ago and we became bestfriends since then. It’s like I’ve known her all my life already and our personalities compliment each other. I basically tell her everything, and when I say all it means all the big and little things. I still can remember how it all started but that’s another story.

And here comes this guy, who dislike me as much as I dislike him. Who would have thought he would  turn out to be my guy bestfriend? He was my complete opposite and just like how me and my girl bestfriend agree on everything, me and my guy bestfriend seemed to agree to disagree on almost everything. I don’t know exactly how we bacame bestfriends but from then on, the three of us started hanging out with each other- we were inseparable and I am so happy to have them as my bestfriends.

I remember how I used to tell them that I’ll be the happiest if they would really end up with each other just to tease them, but they wouldn’t agree with me.

Whenever I am not around, it’s always just the two of them spending free hours together that is why I often joke about them looking like a real couple. Of course both of them will just shrug off my teasing then I’d always laugh on how they react. For almost a year now, I’ve been teasing my two bestfriends on falling for each other, but they never believed they will. But they did! Atleast one of them admittedly did fall for the other – and that made me really happy.

Things changed. He realized his feelings for her. After everything, I’m glad he finally admitted it to her and to himself. She hasn’t realized it though.

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There were nights I’m actually praying that they would end up with each other but if they don’t, I couldn’t care less. I still do pray for their happiness even if it means they would end up with somebody else.  Whatever happens to their relationship, if they are really Made For Each Other just like what I wish for, I hope that they will always find happiness and comfort in each other’s presence. I want them to be happy nomatterwhat. Isn’t it just cute having them as a real couple? I mean, they’re both my bestfriends, I’m always gonna be the third wheel though. ;)😍💕

Life’s like this.

This is how life works: do good things and nobody will see, but make a mistake – just one mistake, one bad move – and everybody will judge you.

They will judge you and your whole personality with that just one wrongdoing of yours, not taking into consideration all the good things you’ve done… they will judge you as if they’ve known you your whole life. And to me… that’s a total bullshit!

I mean, what the hell? I’m not trying to come clean or anything ‘coz I’ve judged people as much as people has been judging me; sometimes I care about what they say, sometimes I get really hurt by it, but most of the time I don’t or I don’t know.. I feel indifferent.

Maybe I still care, maybe it still hurts if I’ll take time to take it all in… But I’m done trying to prove them wrong. I’m done trying to prove myself to others. I’m done trying to meet somebody else’s expectations of me. I’m done trying not to disappoint anyone..

I’m done listening to what they say because I’ve decided this is my life and I won’t let them control my happiness. I realized this world is full of distorted views that I will be only causing my own unhappines if I let them get in my nerves, so now I’m done with the rest of the world.

Afterall all the people that matters know me much more than what other people might think of me-  and that is all that matters. I don’t have to explain myself to them or to anybody else, ’cause no matter what I do, people will always say something, so why bother? As long as I know I’m not doing anything that might impair somebody else’s happiness, as long as I am doing what I believe is right, as long as I’m not breaking any rules (but it would be nice to break some rules sometimes every once in a while, I guess)… I’ll try my best to pursue the things that makes me happy no matter how people will judge me.

Life is too short to be miserable, let’s just ignore all the negativities and go on with our lives. Respect each other’s space and point of views and instead of trying to get in the way of other people’s happiness, why don’t we just spread goodvibes?

For starters, this is me.

“Magsisimula ako sa umpisa..
Magsisimula ako.
Magsisimula ulit ako.”

(c)

Hi there! I’m just another lonely soul trying to pour my heart out by writing this blog. I’m 19 years old and in exactly one month time I’ll add up one to my age. Ooohh, can’t wait. Though I don’t look much like it (thanks to my height) I’ve been existing in this world for nineteen years and eleven months. Wow! Felt like I was born yesterday. Jk 😂

I’ve had my heart broken a couple of times for different reasons, (and different persons, i think). I am a melodramatic slash hopeless romantic teen-age girl who hates happy-ending teen flicks ‘coz its way too far from reality but still wishes to be a lead star in my own lovestory that never happened, or if I’m optimistic I should say a lovestory that is yet to happen.

I love chocolates and ice cream and anything sweet as much as I love writing down my thoughts and watching heartbreaking movies. I could say that I am a massochist, at least not physically that is. I daydream a lot and I often talk to myself. I’m out of this world actually.

I do believe that things happen for a reason, and yes I don’t always get to find out what reason that is but I always know it’s for the better in the long run. And just like every ending is a new beginning, I am here writing my first post. So yey! This is me. Good day 😄